Here's a way to be offensive, but in a very non-offensive, subtle kinda way.

CARD DETAILS:
• A2 size (4.25" × 5.5")
• Premium 110 lb cardstock
• Blank inside
• White Euro-flap envelope included
• Packaged in a protective clear sleeve
• Designed and printed in Philadelphia
FRONT READS:
“You are the age I imagined all of my middle school teachers.”